pt.1

this is the first time i have ever seen my brother, it's a picture he sent my dad via email.
i haven't talked to him since he sent this.
this is my niece rosabell.

-

I do too much, really it's not enough. I do this for everyone, it's not for myself. I need to stop, I wont because I cant.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

That's me again..

my brain

Has been swallowed by my stomach, and it hurts and since my brain is in my guts I guess you could say Ive lost my mind and I dont know what to do. I mine as well be a really confused rock with a stomach ache.

..

Back in Orange County again, only this time i am staying in a van rather than at mikes house, but regardless i am having the time of my life. I want to pack up my bags and move here right away.

This is Michael and I in a field of weeds disguised as flowers outside
of a pancake shop.

my best friends > yours.

eat me alive

I REALLY WANNA KNOW WHAT MIKE AND BRITTANY ARE PLANNING.

I wish

I could be in three places at once, I really wish I could be in one place which is silly to say because I am always in one place but it is usually not the right one.

home sick

Definition: sick of being home.

I just want to travel.

untitled

I want.

I want it to be summer, I want my car so I can drive into the desert and I want to listen to explosions in the sky on the way, I want to be able to find the constellations and I want to nap. I want to find someone who will go with me, but I dont want it to be a certain someone either, I want to hit that certain someone in the face but I dont want to go to jail, ever. I want the heater to stop burning my back and I just want to have a heater blanket instead. I want valentines day to be over so the movie theater and resturaunts arent crowded anymore. I want something, maybe I want to stop wanting but that wont happen.

10 days.

peaches n' cream or beers and nicotine

or

Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish—a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found a way to live out where the real winds blow—to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind exceptfalling in love and not getting arrested . . . Res ipsa loquitur. Let the good times roll.

Giants

When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road, turn out the lights, get out and look up at the sky
And I do this to remind me that I'm really, really tiny
In the grand scheme of things and sometimes this terrifies me
But it's only really scary cause it makes me feel serene
In a way I never thought I'd be because I've never been
So grounded, and so humbled, and so one with everything
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything
Rock and roll is fun but if you ever hear someone
Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
When I saw Geneviève I really liked it when she said
What she said about the giant and the lemmings on the cliff
She said 'I like giants
Especially girl giants
Cause all girls feel too big sometimes
Regardless of their size'
When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road and run and jump into the ocean in my clothes
And I'm smaller than a poppyseed inside a great big bowl
And the ocean is a giant that can swallow me whole
So I swim for all salvation and I swim to save my soul
But my soul is just a whisper trapped inside a tornado
So I flip to my back and I float and I sing
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything
So I talked to Geneviève and almost cried when she said
That the giant on the cliff wished that she was dead
And the lemmings on the cliff wished that they were dead
So the giant told the lemmings why they ought to live instead
When she thought up all those reasons that they ought to live instead
It made her reconsider all the sad thoughts in her head
So thank you Geneviève, cause you take what is in your head
And you make things that are so beautiful and share them with your friends
We all become important when we realize our goal
Should be to figure out our role within the context of the whole
And yeah, rock and roll is fun, but if you ever hear someone
Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
And I don't wanna make her cry